4 Ways to Fight Sexual Temptation
Choke Temptation
Years ago, a man was hunting deer in the Tehama Wildlife Area of Northern California. As he climbed through a rocky gorge, he lifted his head to look over a ledge and saw something move next to his face. Before he knew it, a rattlesnake struck, just missing him. The strike was so close, however, that the snake’s fangs became snagged in the neck of his sweater. As the snake coiled around the man’s neck, he grabbed it just behind its head. A mixture of hissing and rattling filled his ear as he felt warm venom run down his neck. He tried to dislodge the fangs from his sweater but fell backward and slid down the embankment. Using his rifle, he untangled the fangs, freeing the snake to strike repeatedly at his face. The man later explained, “I had to choke him to death. It was the only way out.”1
When you face temptation, you enter a battle even more dangerous than having a rattler striking at your face. The Scriptures liken Satan to a closely crouching snake or lion who is provoking passions within us that war against our souls.2 We must choke temptation to death—it is the only way out. What follows are four ways to fight when temptation strikes.
1. Pray to God
As the dark hour of temptation fell upon Jesus’s disciples, he told them twice to “pray that you may not enter into temptation” (Luke 22:40, 46). He knew the pressure they were about to face, and so he reminded them, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt. 26:41).
Pure in Heart
J. Garrett Kell
In Pure in Heart, pastor J. Garrett Kell shares his own struggles with sexual sin and invites readers to join him in making a lifelong commitment to pursue sexual purity through the power of the gospel.
If Jesus told his disciples to pray before temptation comes, how much more do we need to pray once it arrives? When temptation calls, you must pray. You need divine intervention to deliver you from the venom of the tempter. You do not need elaborate prayers, just desperate prayers delivered in faith. The Scriptures provide an abundance of examples:
- “Lord, save me” (Matt. 14:30).
- “Lord, help me” (Matt. 15:25).
- “Jesus, Master, have mercy” (Luke 17:13).
- “O Lord, I pray, deliver my soul!” (Ps. 116:4).
- “Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord! / O Lord, hear my voice!” (Ps. 130:1–2).
- “Lead [me] not into temptation, / but deliver [me] from evil” (Matt. 6:13).
- Lord, you promised not to “let [me] be tempted beyond [my] ability,” but to “provide the way of escape” (1 Cor. 10:13). Show me the escape!
- “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).
Prayer lifts our eyes off of sin’s disorienting offer and places it on Jesus. Through prayer we “resist the devil” and “draw near to God” (James. 4:7–8). Through it we confess our desire to sin and plead for help to resist it. We ask God to give us strength to choke out the temptation so that sin cannot strike us. When you are tempted, pray to God. He is the one who helps us and will keep us from falling.
2. Flee Right Away
Joseph was handsome, and his master’s wife couldn’t help but notice. As lust burned in her heart, she offered him an opportunity for a secret affair. But Joseph resisted. He was loyal to his master and, beyond that, said, “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” Yet her advances continued “day after day” until she finally cornered him alone. She seized him by his garment and said, “Lie with me.” Rather than entertain her offer, “he left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house” (Gen. 39:6–12).
Joseph ran because he had no other option. He knew he was too weak to resist temptation as long as he was alone with his master’s wife. So he choked the temptation—not by staying and fighting, but by fleeing. We must do the same. When temptation corners you, don’t flirt with it—flee from it.
Sin wants to convince you that one more click in the search engine or one more minute on the couch or one more round of inappropriate conversation is manageable. But entertained temptation is like kryptonite to our sinful flesh. The longer we let it linger, the weaker our resolve becomes.
This is why Paul told Timothy to “flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness” (2 Tim. 2:22). Do whatever is necessary to get away from what is tempting you. Close the computer. Delete the app. Turn off the phone. Run outside. Get in the car and drive. Do whatever you need to do to flee the voice of temptation.
3. Call a Friend
Emily felt overwhelmed by temptation’s onslaught. Being alone in her house for the weekend offered so many ways to sin. But rather than fight alone, she called a sister from church. She explained how weak she felt and asked for help. Her friend told her to pack a bag and stay with her for the weekend. Emily agreed and, with her friend’s help, avoided Satan’s snare.
You cannot fight sin by yourself. God commands us to “exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:13). Sin assures us that asking for help is weak, shameful, and unnecessary. But this is just one more lie from Satan, who is “a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).
Sin cannot live in the light.
When temptation strikes, reach out to a friend and plead for help. Do not make excuses. Send a text or email, or make a call immediately. Tell your friend that you need help. Say something like, “Would you pray for me? I’m feeling weak toward temptation, and I need your help.”
Sin cannot live in the light. Drag the temptation into the light of fellowship and enlist others for help. If the person you called doesn’t take you seriously, plead more urgently or call someone else. Don’t give in to discouragement. Keep fighting, but don’t fight alone.
4. Develop a Long-Term Plan
When I was young, my father and I often took walks in the woods near our house, which were known to be inhabited by poisonous snakes. During our first walk, he taught me an important lesson: when you come to a fallen tree on the path, step on it, and then step over it. He explained that snakes often rest under trees, so if we stepped right over a tree, we might startle the snake and get bitten. But if we stepped on the tree and then over it, we’d create enough distance to evade the strike of most snakes. Today I can’t walk along a path in the woods without remembering this lesson.
Avoiding a snake’s strike once is good. Developing a pattern to avoid these strikes forever is better. We cannot, of course, keep the tempter from tempting, but we must develop a plan not to go near his den (Prov. 5:8). Over the years, I have developed an intentional plan to “make no provision for the flesh” in order to guard my walk with Jesus (Rom. 13:14).
Jesus exhorted us to “cut off” whatever might lead us to sin against God (Matt. 5:28–30). I have set up numerous barbwire-like protections to make acting out sinful desires difficult. I encourage you to grab a friend and develop a similar strategy. The following questions might help you get started.
- How are you cultivating hope and delight in Jesus?
- What joy-stealing sins are you most prone to give in to?
- If Satan were to tempt you, how might he do it?
- If you were going to access sin, how would you find it?
- How can you dumb down your electronic devices to make sinning in certain ways an impossibility?
- Are there subscriptions you need to cancel? Phone numbers you need to delete?
- Are there accountability subscriptions you should set up?
- When are you most susceptible to temptation? How can you prepare for these times?
- What passages of Scripture have you memorized or marked to quickly access in times of temptation?
- What lies are you most prone to believe, and what passages of Scripture can you fight them with?
- Whom are you regularly confessing your sins to? Whom can you call when you are feeling tempted?
No Regrets
God rarely touches our lives in such a way that we stop loving sin immediately. But as we fight sin and pursue him, he changes our affections. We begin to love what he loves and hate what he hates. Our confidence in willpower fades, and our hope focuses on Jesus, who was tempted and yet resisted in all the ways we have not (Heb. 4:15).
As you begin to fight afresh for joy in God, remember that sin steals your joy. You will never regret resisting sin. You will always regret giving in. Choke temptation by taking refuge in Jesus and the means of grace he provides: pray to God, flee the scene, call a friend, develop a plan.
Notes:
- This story, first published in the Los Angeles Times, appears in Chuck Swindoll, The Quest for Character (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1993), 17–18.
- Gen. 3:1–6; 4:7; 1 Pet. 2:11; 5:8.
This article is adapted from Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God by J. Garrett Kell.
Related Articles
10 Things You Should Know about the Sexual Revolution
The sexual revolution is simply one manifestation of a broader culture of what we might call expressive individualism.
A Proper Christian Response to Sexual Sin in Our Culture
Sexual desire is often one of the most powerful, powerfully creative, and powerfully catastrophic forces within human history.
Podcast: Making Sense of Transgenderism and the Sexual Revolution (Carl Trueman)
Why is our culture obsessed with gender identity and sexuality? Learn what history has to say about our modern times and how Christians can navigate this increasingly hostile issue.
The Role of Technology and Media in the Sexual Revolution
Technology and the media have played a significant role in the triumph of the sexual revolution—specifically in terms of the LGBTQ+ movement.
