"My First Pulpit Is My Family": The Essential Role of the Home in Pastoral Leadership

Family First

“I am convinced that one of the greatest gifts the church can give to the world today is a healthy and practically fulfilling understanding of family life,”¹ states Ajith Fernando in the introduction to his book, The Family Life of the Christian Leader. For one group of Nigerian pastors, this concept and the accompanying points made by Fernando have helped lay the foundation for an important reprioritization in their lives.

Though in their minds they know the correct priority order is God, family, and ministry, it can be hard to live that out on a daily basis when ministry demands sound louder than family needs. This book served as a timely read for four pastors facing this tension.

As part of Lux in Tenebris’s pastoral reading program, Pastors Ezhi John Ishaya, Benjamin Rigye, Damala Yakubu, and Olaniran Oluwatobi Joel have read all fifteen of the books given to them through Crossway’s Global Ministry Fund. These are hand-picked for pastors serving in global contexts where resources are not easily accessible.

These pastors shared what this change in perspective has looked like personally and how they’ve become more faithful pastors and shepherds as a result.

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What key topic has been eye-opening for you when considering how to balance family life and ministry?

Olaniran Oluwatobi Joel: It has really enhanced the way I view my ministry and my family. Through it I have learned the key principle that God is first, then my family, and then the ministry. And it has also helped me to shed light on things that may affect my family and also affect the ministry, which gives me a better understanding of how I can embrace ministry responsibilities while taking care of my family.

Ezhi John Ishaya: Sometimes as pastors we see the challenges our church body is facing, and we’ll wonder, “How will I balance these challenges while still having energy to care for my family?” In fact, in Africa some church members would feel that you are not giving them rightful attention by prioritizing the needs of your family first. But this book helped me to know how to balance my ministry work and the people I am leading while prioritizing care for my family. After all, I shouldn’t leave my family behind because we are doing the ministry work together.

Benjamin Rigye: This has really inspired me to learn and understand that my first “pulpit” or “congregation” is my family. If I don’t know how to manage and care for my family well as a leader, I have woefully failed. Reading this book has helped me to make sure that I have a good relationship with my wife and children. It is only then that I’ll have the confidence to stand in the pulpit to preach the Word of God to my church family.

What changes have you made as a result of reading The Family Life of the Christian Leader?

Olaniran Oluwatobi Joel: There is this saying that goes something like, “If the family is not working well, you cannot be a happy man doing ministry.” Prior to reading this book, I was facing some significant challenges in the ministry. My ministry was clashing with my family life. My wife was in pursuit of a seminary degree, but because of my intense involvement in ministry it wasn’t going to work for her to continue her education. So I had to make a decision between leading the ministry or the family. So we thought about it prayerfully and we decided that I should not stop my wife from furthering her education because we knew it was an open door from the Lord.
I hadn’t yet made the decision when I started reading this book. . . . I was convicted by the author’s commendation that I cannot neglect my family for the sake of the ministry. So I will say that I made the decision to embrace my family first, and by doing that also the ministry God has given to me. I tendered my resignation letter to the mission organization I was working with, then returned to the church where I had previously served to participate in a lesser capacity. It has made a way for me to be able to embrace the ministry work while I take care of my family.

Damala Yakubu: I told my wife that these books are here for both of us, not just me, so that we can work together and learn what God is doing. Now having that in mind, we will be able to work as a team, because she’s my aid and associate in the church. . . . So I am trying to train her so that she will also have an equal understanding of the theological concepts I have been learning. And if she will have that kind of understanding, I know that we’ll be better because of it and therefore the church too will be a better place. I firmly believe that unity in our family is so important as we work toward the goal of caring for the people God has given to us in our church. And even now we are training our son so that as he grows up, he will know the principles and the doctrines that we are learning from these books.

God has created families to honor and glorify himself. Our pastors are great gifts from the Lord, but they ought to love and prioritize their families first so that they can be well equipped for the care and shepherding of their churches.

These book sets, among other resources, are distributed to pastors and ministry leaders throughout the world and especially the Global South. You’re invited to join us in supporting resource distribution that will grow the Kingdom!

Praise God for these pastors who are faithfully ministering to their congregations by caring for their families. Pray for wise leadership of their families alongside the shepherding of their church congregations.

Pray for fruit to come in the lives of other pastors and ministry leaders who are also reading through this and other books.